Someone like me

What do you do when you've completed the hardest thing you've ever done? After cycling for 10 days out of 11, it's now been 3 whole days since I sat on a bike, which feels like a relief and a confusion all at the same time. Obviously far too early to plan and set new goals, but Cent Cols was by far the hardest and most amazing cycling trip I've ever been on.

It was indescribably hard. Fatigue like you can not imagine, waking up hungry at 3AM, and all kinds of aches and pains I'd never had before. I'm an average cyclist, and my talent is limited. But I was inspired and cheered by the comments and support of my fellow travellers, as well as the support from friends back home via social media. Together, they kept me going. Thank you.

It's pivotal too.

For almost every day I wondered how I was going to get up in the morning and ride my bike again, never mind over distances of 100 to 200 km, and 3-5000 metres of climbing. At the foot of the Port de Pailheres, in a raging thunderstorm, I despaired of finishing before dark. But I did. Bombing down 20km of mountain in the gloaming, lights flashing, and corners taken, hoping no animals were lurking around them.

If I can do all this, what else can I do?

In 2009 I came back from LEJOG, my first trip on a road bike really, and understood how I'd settled for a life of mediocrity. It begat changes that have meant a very different path to the one I was on.

Beyond the people, the stunning scenery and the cycling challenge, there is something else.

Cycling up the Aubisque on Tuesday morning was a very deep spiritual experience for me. The visceral and emotional on the inside was reflected by the snaking upwards of the road and the soaring peaks of the mountains on the outside. Maybe it's epoxia, maybe I was just a little bit tired, but I don't think so.

Something has changed.

My friend Monmarduman (link to the right) has written an excellent piece on our trip. As I remind him, I am the fat one that makes him feel better about himself, and he was the most excellent companion anyone could hope for. A real Frodo to my Sam.

But in the middle of the night,  feeling those pangs of hunger matched by the anxiety of another impending day, when I turned to music, was it a coincidence that my most-played album was Songs of Experience? This was the song that kept me going.

I don't know what's next, cycling or otherwise. But there will be something. Until then, there's this.