What is even less well-known is that one of Robert's squires was Guus de Garminge, from the small hamlet, that now lies in what is now known as the Netherlands, for sure, of the same name. Guus was untypical of most of the people of his village, in that he had a hunger to travel the world, see far-off places, meet interesting people, and kill them.
The family legend grew up, that one of Harold's house carls, fighting on into the twilight of the battle of Hastings, was just about to lop off Robert's head, when the loyal squire charge up the steep gradient and flung himself at his master's would-be dispatcher. Between them Robert and Guss, finished off the Saxon and both survived the battle. Duke William, heard about the story and duly knighted Guus in the aftermath of the battle, and bestowed upon de Garminge a small manor house in Hampshire.
The family prospered, and their estate was distinguished from those of the other Norman invaders by the clear signs that directed everyone where to go, and how far to their destination. The de Garminge family married other local families, and eventually invested in overseas trade to Gascony. One younger son, Aubrey de Garmin (as the family were now known) founded the great map-making industry that became all the rage for a short while in medieval London, Whilst another, Villiers Garmin, secured the rights to maps of the unknown over the sea, mapping vast tracts of what was thought to be wilderness out in America.
Like all families though they had their black sheep, Jonny "long road" Garmin, succeeded to the family fortune around the turn of the 19th/20th centuries, and invested heavily in mapping Kenya for big-game hunters. Unfortunately Jonny fell for a man from Ujiji, who promised eternal salvation or something, and gave him a blank cheque for the heart of darkness, only for it to never be seen again. Jonny never recovered, and spent the next 30 years, slowly wasting his money on compasses and sextants.
As a result of the excesses of Jonny Garmin, succeeding generations have had to make their own way in the world. His great grandson, Charlie, currently sits on my handlebars, and acts as a satellite navigation device. Bella Garmin, a great-great granddaughter, has just started working for Skip, although like all the female Garmins, she harbours hopes of a great match to restore the family to its former splendour.
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| Garmin Towers |
The chief aim has always to reacquire the family seat, Garmin Towers, the deeds to which were lost in a famous gambling match at Claridges in 1937 by Bunty Garmin, Charlie's grandfather (Bella is descended from Bunty's younger brother, the famous rake and socialite, Bimbers Garmin). The story goes that Bunty, responded to the taunts from a member of the Tomtomahue family (the Garmin's local neighbours in Hampshire and for centuries their sworn enemies. The family feud dates back to the famous enclosure of Topey Wood, an act for which Tarquin Tomtomahue was never forgiven by the Garmins), to put his gradients where his mouth is, and promptly lost the last remaining asset the family possessed.
Other famous members of the family include Vaughters Garmin who made a name for himself leading a cycling team, and the Italian, Alessandro Garminelli, (descended from a cadet branch of the family that went to Italy in the 14th century and never came back), who became a racing driver.
Despite the lack of money, all the modern-day Garmins are well-educated (Charlie for example went to a minor public school in Tunbridge Wells, while Bella attended Roedean) and impeccably polite, if at times, as befits their troubled and chequered past, somewhat unreliable. The family motto, "Vade ostende mihi viam" owes much to their Dutch roots, as does their general sangfroid when asked for directionn.
Today I rode the Joker, a really fun sportive, which I'll tell you about next time.
Today's route by Charlie Garmin.
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