To go anywhere that I please

Who am I?

Ha, you weren’t expecting that were you? I was always a fan of Jean-Paul Sartre, perhaps the finest exponent of existentialism. But not the only one. So (that’s for you Stuart), what is it to exist? Back in my formative decade, the eighties, there was much talk of the dignity of labour, and how work defined so many of our existences. Much concern too, that with mass unemployment amongst the predominantly male workforce we were about to have a crisis in the heads of millions of men.

I could do that.

Of course like any self-obsessed teenage (and beyond), I’ve had my moments. A few of them in the last three weeks as I balance the rational, logical business decisions with my own feelings of hopelessness and despair. I pulled myself together, don’t worry, and now I’m fine.

Don’t make a fuss.

Anyway, the lockdown is fraying, like that gear cable you look at and think, umm, not today, maybe when I get back, or on Sunday. And then one day, you pull on the brake and....nothing, and you wish, oh you wish. Today, out on my officially-allowed exercise I saw the following:

- A group of nine or ten men gathered around a table in Axbridge, pretending to social-distance (what a shit verb), whilst really they were there for a drink and a knees-up

- Quite a few conversations on doorsteps where again people were pretending to keep a safe distance, but really they’d just popped round for a chat

- Motorbikers in groups of 3-4+, with no panniers, boxes or rucksacks. They may have had medical appointments, but they sure weren’t going shopping

- Picnics. Quite a few of these, people parked up roadside chomping away

- Young people. Now I understand if you are 17 (I still do remember, no matter what Junior thinks) being apart from your mates is hard, being apart from your boyfriend/girlfriend is actually the end of the world. A lot of that.

There was more. It’s OK though, clapping and positivity can cure all ills, make up for the lack of testing, PPE and a plan for the relaxing of restrictions without catastrophic economic meltdown. Yeah, too much politics and not enough basic competence. 

So who am I?

Haven’t you worked it out yet? 

People.

And there are  too many pictures to post of the wheels I have followed over the years, great friends, colleagues, fellow travellers and strangers I have met on trains. Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you.

For all of those reasons I know that in a couple of years all that feeling of togetherness, Captain Tom, we’re all in this together and enjoying the stillness of the car-free roads, will be but a vague and distant memory. What matters then?

Your values, your compass and your ethics. Believe in a higher power if you want to. But draw on your DNA, those closest to you and your integrity. You don’t need to be able to go to the pub to be free. Or even to debate the regulations and how they affect the distance you can or can’t cycle. You are as free as you decide to be.