Sunday 12 August 2012

Carry each other

Balloons, sunshine and a bike ride. I'd say that equates to a state of happiness, and it was what I found myself in on Friday morning. Despite the dreadful effects of manflu, and not having been on a bike for 8 days, I manfully threw my leg over the top tube of K-1 and found the flattest route into Bristol that I could find.

And by a delightful semi-planned coincidence, it was also downwind from the Bristol Balloon Fiesta's Friday morning mass ascent. Dozens of balloons sailed over my head, one was even close enough for me to bid the pilot a cheery good morning. I spent an extra 20 minutes or so circling the countryside to find more balloons to cycle under.


Fresh from the Olympics myself, this specimen really caught my imagination, yep it's a Team GB balloon, combing all the feel-good stuff in the world into one canvas-wrapped bag of hot air.


I really don't know why, but balloons make me smile, and they seemed to capture the imagination of lots of other people too. Everywhere there were bleary-eyed folks staring up into the sky, waving, chuckling, smiling at the display, and completely oblivious to the fact that there dressing gowns were so last year.

It was nice to have a couple of days of sunshine to enjoy, and even better to ride in one, despite feeling a bit rough, it actually made me feel better. And also nice not to have to push myself either, what with the trip being two weeks ago, I need to take it easy I guess.

My very flat route was not that fast, all that stopping and starting, but just being on the bike was enough.

Elsewhere I have now had some modifications made to the Red Madone, which will not necessarily make me go faster, but hopefully a bit smoother. Life is short, and I figured there was no point in having money in the bank, and as I don't want to buy a new bike, since the two I have are nicely tailored to my weird body, I went for the next best thing. Eddy Merckx famously said "don't buy upgrades, ride up grades", but when you have dropped the Cannibal on an 8% hill like I have, you can afford to scoff at his advice.

Yes, Cheddar cycle store has equipped me with Ultegra Di2. More on this next week when I have actually ridden it.

Today, was an Axbridge Cycling Group Day. For me, it was a chance to go and clear my head, and also (for which I do apologise to my fellow riders) clear my lungs. My lungs have nothing nastier in them that a cold and mild asthma, unlike my Mum who has something far more deadly in hers.

I asked her if she minded me blogging about this and she said that she didn't. She is remarkably sanguine about the fact that she has secondary tumours, including the one in her lung, from her breast cancer of seven years ago. For me, this is an opportunity to talk about it without having to be face to face with anyone. That said, I have been overwhelmed by just how supportive and kind people can be when you are faced with something like this.

But it isn't really about me, it's about her. Much as I love sport, and admire those that compete, strive, etc. I found myself getting a bit irritated with all the Olympic crying that was going on. But then, one consequence of my Mum being ill is that it makes me realise that there really is no point, absolutely no point whatsoever, in being irritated or angry with other people.

So life must go on, can go on, will go on. We don't know how long we will have my Mum for, but actually I have realised that I will have her forever, in me, in my heart and in my head. In the things she loves, believes in, phrases she says, mannerisms we share. I'm sorry if this is too intensely painful or personal for you. But this blog is not about you, it's about me, and right now, this is just about all that I can think of.

Today's ACG ride

Thought for today

Because it is possible for terrible things to happen and yet for us still to feel happy and enjoy life. Even when it's ending, actually more so then that ever. This is not some sentimental claptrap, it is hard, cold, logical, life-affirming reality. We do get to carry each other, we reach into the murky, messy world we all inhabit, and do our bit, when we can. We haven't got to, we get to. It's a privilege not a right.

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